OK mistrtoad, the story you asked for

[elizilla]

I was planning to go over Beartooth Pass and stay in Red Lodge, but it was sunset and there was a lot of snow up there, so I turned back, went back over the Chief Joseph, and found a motel in Cody. I chose it by cruising through town and eyeballing all the various mom-n-pop motels, and picking the one with about ten motorcycles in the parking lot. This motel turned out to be a good choice. The clerk, who was also the motel owner, was super cool and interesting. He was a former dirtbike racer, former computer geek, who decided to opt out of the ratrace and buy a motel in Cody as a deliberate lifestyle choice. After staying up way too late chatting with him, I slept in a bit the next morning.

I emerged in the morning and got some of the fresh baked donuts they provided, and sat under the picnic shelter out front examining my maps. Eventually I was joined by the GS rider. He was from Winnipeg and we had a good time discussing the Strom vs the GS, and what roads we'd each ridden and enjoyed. I gave him a thumbs-up report on the Chief Joseph, and he set out to ride it.

Then the guys riding the Harleys with the Colorado temp tags came out, and I made some comment about temp tags and the confidence required to buy a brand new bike and immediately take it touring. They explained that they were renting these bikes, they were from Holland. Two of them didn't speak enough English to converse, and the one who spoke was obviously struggling. He wanted to know what I meant by temp tags?

While I was explaining what temp tags were, a woman came out of one of the other rooms and started putting stuff in the saddle bags on one of the other Harleys. (Permanent tags, Wyoming, so at least somewhat local.) She joined the conversation and immediately started talking to the Dutch guys like they were idiots. She noted that they had stock pipes and warned them that they should be very very careful because loud pipes are the only thing keeping bad drivers from running them down. Those who know me, know this is one of my hot buttons, but I restrained myself, only emitting a few snorts and eye rolls. She gave me a dirty look and continued spewing the loud pipes excuses. Finally I said "Why not just drop it? You're not going to convince me, and these guys have rental bikes."

She cut me off with an accusation that I obviously don't know anything about safety, since I was riding a crotch rocket. She pointedly turned away from me and started explaining to the poor Dutch guys (who had the glazed look of people catching maybe one word in three) how crotch rockets handle terribly and they're lucky they had HDs. She launched into an explanation of how crotch rockets are steered by turning the bars, which makes them horribly unstable, while cruisers are steered by leaning, which is much better, especially on dangerous roads like the ones in the park. (That's right, no mention of countersteering in there anywhere.)

I had been trying to not interrupt, after all we had three people with hardly any English skills and if the native speakers both talked at once it would be incomprehensible to them. But every time I tried to speak, she just talked over me and I would subside rather than have us both talking at once. There wasn't time for me to say anything complicated or diplomatic, she wasn't going to give me any more time than it took her to suck in another breath. I had to make it short, and the cluelessness was so astounding, I couldn't resist. I said, "So what you're telling us is that you don't really know what you're doing, eh?"

If looks could kill! She started to respond, but just then a man came out of her room and called to her. She had to smooth over the scowl and put on a good face for him. The Dutch guys seized their chance to flee, so she didn't get another shot at them.

I went back to my maps and donuts, and ignored the black looks she threw in my direction as she climbed on the passenger seat behind her man and they rode off.

I had to laugh, to see that she was riding bitch. (And that's not a term I usually use, but for her, definitely, bitch.) I wonder if it just killed her to have me see that she wasn't actually the driver? Or maybe she assumed I had a male crotch rocket driving companion, somewhere out of sight, that I too was a pillion rider. Maybe she thought that by talking bullshit really fast, she could win the competition for masculine attention, because I wouldn't have enough knowledge to do anything but nod agreement.

Anyway, I felt sorry for the poor Dutch guys, getting lectured by the clueless. I hope they don't think Americans are all like her.

Comments

[concordantnexus.livejournal.com]

Your story made my morning much better. =)

[elizilla]

I'm not sure telling it improved my evening any. I'm still kind of grumpy thinking about her. Some people are much more pleasant when they are elsewhere.

C'mon, lady...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure telling it improved my evening any. I'm still kind of grumpy thinking about her.

You know better, K... Let it go.

-R

Re: C'mon, lady...

[elizilla]

The chainsaw fantasy makes it much easier to do so. Thanks. :-)

[pi3832.livejournal.com]

I hope they don't think Americans are all like her.

Too many of us actually are like her, though.

Oh well, at least we've got Koos over in the Netherlands spreading the word that not all Americans are Harley-riding jack-asses.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

..I have no words. Really.

[motomuffin.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Just, wow.

I can't... wow.

Yeah. Damn. She needs a boot to the head.

[fourgotten.livejournal.com]

Behold the power of misinformation and propaganda.

It's been my experience that people who are wrong will use any excuse to justify their wrongness and the strength of the grip with which they hold onto their wrong "information" is directly proportional to how wrong they are. And they are always more vocal about it.

She prolly knows, deep down, that she more full of shit than a septic tank after a chili cook off... so to make herself FEEL better about being wrong, she's got to loudly proclaim her fantasy that she knows what she's talking about to anyone and everyone that she can.

Pity those who are so mired in their own fantasy that reality doesn't even peek at them... their self-delusion will be their undoing one day. Just hope that they don't infect too many other people before that happens...

I wonder if there's anyone working on a vaccine for stupidity... if not, there should be...

[mistrtoad.livejournal.com]

She cut me off with an accusation that I obviously don't know anything about safety, since I was riding a crotch rocket

Yeah. A V strom a crotch rocket. I suppose to some folks if it's not a cruiser, it's a crotch rocket.

You were far too kind to her. Diplomacy and tact are totally wasted on some people.

[elizilla]

If someone comes up to you, accuses you of being gay, and then starts listing all the reasons why gay people are bad, would you start by denying you're gay, or by denying that gay people are bad?

YMMV...

[(Anonymous)]

But I'd start by pointing out that this person was obviously a pederast, a child pornographer, and an incestophile (if there is such a word), then move on to their penchant for bestiality, necrophelia, or whatever other perversion strikes my mood. I would not in any way address my own sexuality, nor this person's impressions of same.

Who says there have to be only two horns to a dilemma?

-R

(...and if none of that works, there's always the chainsaw...)

[archiver-tim.livejournal.com]

Poor English or not, we can be sure those Dutch were out to meet America and Americans. I hope they have too many good experiences to remember this one.

-Ryan

p.s. I would also hope they could discover the wonders of U.S. 2 in da UP, eh?

[elizilla]

Well, if they rented the bikes in Colorado, and took them to Yellowstone, my guess is that da UP isn't on their triptik. I guess we'll just have to keep it for ourselves. :-)